I started this collection on Google Plus in 2015. I’ve never really posted game stuff to “public” before, and there are just tons of posts buried in my gaming Circle from before May. It was a really hard decision for me, tangled up in a confusing mix of residual gamer shame (despite what I tell myself), occasional bouts of depression, and impostor syndrome.
Oh god the impostor syndrome. So very much this.
That said, I think the collection has been an overall success. I didn’t really set any metrics for myself, mostly because this is a personal outlet for me and not a metric-driven deliverable. That continues to be a great question for me: should my work become more professional?
I have no idea. Folks have given me advice from every point on the spectrum: Start a Patreon! Kickstart a game! Maintain your purity! Cash out! Learn to live on pluses and air! It’s still an open question for lots of reasons.
That said, phew. I don’t know what I’ve got planned for 2016.
Some of me would very much like to displace the not-inconsiderable time I put into my work with, you know, a little money. I have no idea what the value proposition is for anyone who wants to help me with that other than, you know, knowing they’re helping out. It’s a moral value proposition, not a commercial one, and I’ve got so much capitalist marketing damage in me that I literally cannot process value along any other lines.
Some of me would very much like to call it quits. Throw my time into getting some designs nailed down. I’ve had some real, measurable success on this front this year — Tiny Dragons, Jurassic World, my Game Chef finalist, a few other bits and bobs — but of course they’re buried in the Plus for all time. I guess a website to hold my shit is in order. Rumor has it I have built websites for a living; guess I should get on that.
There’s that impostor syndrome again. It is pernicious.
So. Anyway. I’m really glad all of you (well nearly all of you; the low level need for attitude policing has worn me out a little as well) have been along for the ride. I’ve learned so much this year from the great threads and the private sidebars, the conventions (two this year! Dreamation soon!), the hangouts, the interviews. Cultural stuff. Design stuff.
Hell, I guess that means I’m in for another year. Here’s the most-plussed and shared thing I did this year. Have a safe one tonight, and don’t go rolling dice to have sex (unless you’re both consenting adults, using protection, etc.).