The Deepest Funk

Hey nerds.

I’ve been in the deepest funk about RPGs lately. Some of it is that our Space Wurm vs Moonicorn game is on its third week of getting skipped, which is a week past my usual play-by date but fingers crossed we’ll get on it tomorrow. But mostly it’s not that.

I’d typically get stoked for BigBadCon around now but I just can’t make myself give a shit about going.

Last spring I was seriously considering trying to make the BBC-Metatopia-Dreamation circuit coming up to hawk one or more of my betas but I’m so not feeling that now.

I’d typically be navel-gazing right about now about some bit of indie gaming marginalia but I feel my defenses slamming into place well before I’ve even finished a draft of something. I’ve thrown away five or six longish posts because I just cannot even with the intellectual dueling and uncharitable counterattacks smoldering just beneath the surface of every reply.

I just don’t feel like defending my gaming bona fides day in and day out. Or constantly reassuring offended sensibilities that, no, just because I didn’t specifically mention a/your thing or thoroughly and rigorously construct an off-the-cuff comment does not mean I was targeting you.

I’m too old for this shit. How is everyone not already too old for this shit? Whatever, it must be a thrilling side-project for folks who thrive on drama.

Whenever I feel like this it’s a good sign I need a break. So I’m taking one. The Indie Game Reading Club will go off the air for a while and I’ll see how I feel when I start gaming again. Which, fingers crossed, should be tomorrow! I will probably not have anything especially insightful to say anyway, and even if I did I’ll be damned if I want to get sucked into a vortex of definition wars and pre-emptive counterattacks in the face of imagined slights.

(Here’s me pre-emptively shutting down what I’m sure will be someone’s speculations and questions: Nothing specifically prompted this. There is no simmering drive-by drama awaiting you if only you had the secret handshake. This isn’t about you, for absolutely all values of “you.”)

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