Migraine day means my charitable-reading circuitry gets totally fried, sometimes for days. I’m feeling better but my head is still firing off angry sparks. Gotta get this out before my road trip to the Land of Enchantment! So you lucky duckies, here it is.
* Designers getting yanked into threads to referee a disagreement (don’t worry Mark, this isn’t what you did!) . Oh lord, just stop. All this so-called access is being used for silencing rather than more and better discussing.
* You’re allowed to disagree with designers, too! They’re just people, and guess what? They usually don’t know their own game as well as their players. No I’m not kidding. Get off your knees. They’re just gamers like you.
* The three modes of Plus talk, and how they’re mutually incompatible. It’s the RoShamBo of conversation where every combination is a loser. Stick to a mode and you’ll be fine. No mixing modes!
Mode 1: Just plain talk with peers. Active, engaged conversation. Seeking understanding. Proposing new ideas. The highest and best and most utopian mode. I aim for it! Sometimes I miss. But I still aim.
Mode 2: Holding court. Yes of course I do this, despite my best efforts. But it’s that…tone or attitude of someone rolling in and delivering the Truth Bomb. Gross.
Mode 3: Morning zoo. Hey hey let’s score points for our extreme cleverness and disruptive humor. The worst, the absolute literal worst. I’ll take a Trump supporter spouting racist bullshit in my thread over this. It’s disrespectful and narcissistic and no, I won’t be blocking anyone over it (which is what makes it worse than politics).
Personally working hard at narrowing the slices of my engagement pie that 2 and 3 make up. Probably failing.
* Prep. Hate the process, love the results. I’m actually resenting prep time I’m spending on the Tenra Bansho Zero thing I’m pitching at NewMexicon in a few days. Yet I will absolutely love running it! PbtA games have made me so very lazy in that regard. Also looking askance at Ryuutama for this reason.
* Sometimes I wonder if I should have quit gaming a decade ago. No seriously. I feel like I know the ins and outs of every element of it so well that there’s precious little left to discover. No magic. Yet the folks who are a decade younger (or more!) in my feeds are still making their own discoveries and sounding like teenagers who think they invented sex. I feel left out! I invented sex once, too!
Not feeling burned out so much as disappointed in myself for not having more courage to put my own work out there (even while having already put shittons of published gaming stuff, as well as non-gaming stuff, out into the big world). Middle aged feels. Blame the birthday last Sunday.
* Suddenly and without warning, I have zero patience for what I read as willful ignorance in the roleplaying universe. I’ve been through this phase, and I was sure I was past it, and normally I think I am past it. But not yesterday, and not today. So fair warning: if you think you’re independent minded and clever for pointing out why systems don’t matter because all RPGs are same-same and cheetos, I will laugh and laugh. All the rhetorical gymnastics you can bring to bear will not prove your case. You’re the climate denier of gaming.
* It’s been two weeks since our last Urban Shadows game and it’ll be another week before we get to play again. Because Land of Enchantment. But imma shanghai Jahmal into a guest appearance, so that’ll be fun.
Come to think of it, probably the combination of a week of Total Solo Daddy Extreme and missing game day two weeks in a row is a bigger contributor than my fizzing brain circuitry. (I’ll take my foot off the pedal next week, promise!)