The End of All Joy
A Golden Cobra Game
(Also, the name of my sex tape)

Find a comfortable chair. Get either coffee, wine, or beer and set it close to hand. Sippable, leisurely.

Open a computer, or a notebook if you are determined to be that guy. Moleskine if you want double that guy points.

Think for a moment, fingers steepled before your face and 1000 yard stare in your eyes, about one of the most significant issues you have dealt with in your gaming life. This could be: not understanding a specific rule, or having trouble getting the group together weekly, or really liking Sorcerer and feeling alone in the world because you are the only one.

In the end, whatever it is not important, as long as it is something that actually matters to you and that you would like to improve in order to have more fun gaming.

Type out the question, the explanation, the statement. Or write it in your fucking notebook you goddamn hipster. Think on it a bit. Don’t write it too fast, take some time and try to get it just so. Sip your drink to slow your typing.

Once it’s ready, read it over one more time.

Now close your eyes. Imagine posting it to a public forum about roleplaying, filled with people you have never played with and will never play with, who will have opinions. So many opinions.

Think about what a helpful reply would look like. Imagine the opportunity for dialog that could both help you find answers to your question, and maybe make a new online friend as well.

Sip your drink. Taste that hope.

Now, consider how likely it is that you will get that reply. Think for a moment about how many people will subtly suggest you have brain damage. How many will tell you about how they have never had that problem. The ones who will deny that problem could possibly exist. Those who will ask you to define “game” and “fun” and “prep vs play time.”

Think about this until you delete the post or tear the page out of your notebook.

Sip your drink.

Remember the hope you had, for more fun games and human connection.

Sip your dink.

Bet you wish it was vodka now, don’t you sucker?