About having “pushing other people emotional buttons” at these games: if we are not talking about disruptive behavior (that is totally another thing, the difference is very noticeable quickly by everyone), it’s something that these gemes need to work
Pushing your own emotional buttons is empty, playing is something you do with other people. You feel your character, but you have to act to engage the other players too.

Someone can be so immersed in his own character to be unable to “help” the other players getting there by pushing their own buttons. By the other hands someone can be so intent into pushing other people’s buttons to the point of separation from his own character (this is the side I tend toward to) but if they are still engaged in the game and do their part  the game still works.

The game works if people playing it do their parts (not “part” in the sense of “acting” but in the sense of “this is what you do in this game”), and this something at the Social Level (I could go Big Model all  day about this stuff, sorry…).

The emotional, personal engagement is… personal. It impact on the game only as much as it change your social behavior. It can be the reason you play, and the difference between enjoying a game or not, but the only things that counts in the social activity “game we play” is what you do and say, what you “share” in common with the others. 
A very engaged person that it’s too shy to let it show and a totally not-engaged person can do the same things and so have the exact same effect on the game. The important thing is: do your part. Play the game.